Pelican Rapids Press managing editor, inviting an insult from Donald Trump
Pelican Rapids Press managing editor, inviting an insult from Donald Trump

Hey, its not fair!

Donald Trump has insulted just about every body and every thing during his campaign for the presidency.

One notable exception is the Pelican Rapids Press!

We really felt short-changed when we spotted an online listing on “Upshot” of hundreds of insults Trump has hurled. The Pelican Rapids Press, and rural America in general, were noticeably absent from the insult inventory.

“In the seven months since declaring his candidacy for president, Donald Trump has used Twitter to lob insults at presidential candidates, journalists, news organizations, nations, a Neil Young song and even a lectern in the Oval Office,” wrote Jasmine C. Lee and Kevin Quealy of Upshot, an online publication from the New York Times. “We know this because we’ve read, tagged and quoted them all.”

Accompanying this column are just a few excerpts from the list.

We view this uneven distribution of insults as an important campaign issue. It confirms all of our suspicions: Donald Trump is a big city boy who panders to big shots–with little interest in America’s heartland. He’s been in rural Iowa, off and on, for weeks and from what I can determine, he hasn’t sufficiently insulted rural folks in that fine state.

He’s insulted plenty of big city newspapers, big time politicians and big time broadcast networks. But to our knowledge, he has yet to insult a weekly community newspaper serving rural America.

It’s high time that Trump goes after the little guy, darn it.

We demand that Trump be an equal opportunity insulter.

And he can start with the Pelican Rapids Press.

So…in order to make ourselves a target for Trump’s insults, this is what we have to say to Mr Trump: We are disappointed that you have to continue to insult your opponents and others when you should be focusing on what you are going to do for our country if you are elected president. You are bashing your opponents, rather than offering clear proposals and positions.

I’m not sure what more we need to do to entice Tump to retaliate and toss an insult our way. I considered juvenile name-calling, but our “Minnesota Nice” background prevented us from going to print with a mean-spirited remark.

Trump has called other folks losers, total losers, totally biased losers, pathetic losers, morons, buffoons, idiots, dopes, dummys, fools, flunkies, clowns, phonies and even “dummy dopes” and “dopey-clowns.”

Donald, I’m really not very smart and furthermore, a girlfriend once called me a loser–so any one of the above insults could easily apply. Take your pick!

Rural America is being sadly short-changed. It’s time we stand up and demand our fair share of insults.
Come on, Mr. Trump, start with us at the Pelican Rapids Press…We can take it.