Joanie Albrecht-Stene laments the loss of Norman, the ceramic pig—both pictured here. It’s a long shot—but maybe a flea market shopper will spot Norman on a second-hand sales table, and return Norm to his home.

Pelican area resident would be in hog heaven if ornamental oinker would come home…

by Joanie Albrecht-Stene 

Guest  contributor 

Having gone to bed on the night of June 15th, perfectly unaware of the of the tragedy that was about to unfold in our back yard that very night, we slept the sleep of the innocent, counting piglets to lure the zzzz’s…only to awaken to find that there had been a pignapping! 

In a despigable act, someone had come in the night and taken Norman, our beloved pig. Now, to clarify, Norman is not an actual pig, but a ceramic, ornamental pig that was near and dear to our hearts just the same. He had bright blue eyes and while he was no Pigasso due to some of his ivory paint chipping on his back, we thought he was beautiful. 

We were fortunate enough to get to take Norman home when he given to us by a dear, departed family friend who collected all things pig. Norman had been with us for over 20 years and was very much a part of our family. He was quite inconspiguous, tucked into the lilac bushes alongside the road and did not announce his presence to every Porky, Peppa, or Miss Piggy that passed by, but was ready to delight children and startle dogs for those that took the time to look. 

June 16th was road trash pick up day and traditionally, people come along to root through piles of trash alongside the road in the hopes of taking home unwanted treasures. Our roadside contained no trash pile and although Norman was not on the road and was most certainly not unwanted, someone snatched him up in the night and hoofed it out of there. 

They came to a pork in the road and made the wrong decision! 

We are giving the pignappers the benefit of doubt, sow to speak, and believe that Norman was taken with the assumption that he was to be given away, but would like him returned if possible! Neighbors down the road reported people in a pigup truck with flashlights digging in things around midnight, I hope they kept Norman safe and are not taking his presence for grunted.

The common refrain from people that frequently walk down our road is “The first thing my grandchildren want to do when they get to the lake is to go see the fairy garden (another roadside adornment) and the pig!” 

Norman’s disappearance is already being noticed and people are asking where he is. It’s snout just us who are bristling with pigdignation over the incident. I hope I haven’t boared you to tears with my pig tale. 

You, the common public, are our bacon of hope! 

Please look at our pigture of Norman and if you see him, let us know so we can stop swining about his vanishing. You never know –he may show up at a flea market or garage sale, so help us bring Norman home!